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Has it been a lifetime......or a minute?

Articles Posted: 109 Links Seeded: 8

Member Since: 3/2009 Last Seen: 5/16/2012

The Memoryvine....

Sat Feb 18, 2012 1:53 PM EST

death, grief, family, loss, love, friends, pets, not-news, the-memoryvine

By Dare To Hope

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I started The Memoryvine almost 3 years ago when I lost my daughter, Jennifer. I really started the group to help myself put a voice to some of the emotions I was feeling and to try to just get thru it. I didn't come back to the vine for a year or two because I was so lost, in such a fog, I didn't even know or care that the world was still turning. I lost my mother 14 months after my daughter and I spiraled down and out of control. I've not been able to put up a proper tribute to my mother yet.

Loss is such a personal thing. We can empathize and sympathize with those who have experienced loss, but each loss is different and we can't possibly know what someone is feeling in their darkest moments.

The reason I am writing this is because it was brought to my attention this morning that I should send a group invitation to one of our very good friends who has just experienced a great loss. It never occured to me to send invitations to the group because it seems like such a personal time in ones life and I don't want to infringe on anyones loss or sadness.

I apologize if I have offended anyone by not sending invitations, I just feel it's a decision that you should make. If there is something you want to share or just have a need to remember someone or our fur babies, please, come share your story, everyone is welcome. I have clipped many articles my friends have shared, some very sad, some very uplifting, all very touching.

Thanks for taking the time to read,

Dare

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Public Discussion (45)

Thanks McSpocky for bringing this to my attention!

8 votes

#1 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 1:52 PM EST

Hi Dare, I think the group serves a great purpose. You are in no way "wrong" to send invitations to those who have just lossed a love one. I even seeded articles about celebrities in order to work through my head what had happened to them. This is a good group and serves a great purpose, remembering loved ones, paying tribute to them and just plain comfort from others. Thanks for founding the group Dare. It should have more members. Many are not aware of the group.

8 votes

#2 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:21 PM EST

Thanks bobby, I hope it does bring comfort to people. I know sharing those thoughts and memories can be helpful when the pain eases a bit, or the fog lifts enough to be able to see. You've been there from the jump and I will always be grateful that you joined and shared, it helped me tremendously to read your words and I hope it helped you to share them.

9 votes

#2.1 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:36 PM EST

You always help me Dare. You help to smile and inspire me to keep going. I appreciate that.:)

7 votes

#2.2 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 11:20 PM EST

Awww ♥

8 votes

#2.3 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 11:25 PM EST

I agree with you Dare. If someone wants to join a group they will know when the time is right and request it. I don't think you need to send out invites to a group after the group is established

6 votes

#3 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:18 PM EST

Thanks Soov, sometimes I just never know what is right and what is wrong, that's what my friends are for :)

6 votes

#3.1 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:30 PM EST

DTH♥... I just requested to join the Memoryvine. I hope that you will accept my request. Loss of a loved one is painful. The loss of my two babies 32 years ago when they were 7 and 8 years of age and the passing of my sister June 15, 2011 and my mother July 1, 2011, has weakened me over the years. I understand the pain and what a lovely area you have created to give those we love much honor. Thank you. ((((DTH))))

7 votes

#4 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:18 PM EST

Dear Mrs D...I've felt like you have been a part of this group since I clipped your tribute to your mother, which is a very beautiful article.

Of course I've accepted, there is no question that you have been weakened by all that's happened over the past year and my heart goes out to you. I don't know about you, but I still can't approach the subject of losing my child without diving into a deeper depression, I've never known such pain and won't know it again since she is my only child.

Thank you for joining and I hope you find it be helpful in some way.

((((((((((Mrs D)))))))))))

6 votes

#4.1 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 8:59 PM EST

I went to my first article on NV about my Billy and Charity and added the Memoryvine tag. Thank you so very much DTH for a most precious group to share about our losses in life. I mourn for your loss also DTH. I didn't know about your precious Jennifer and I am here for you. :( We moved forward with a massive hole in our heart but, life is heavy at times. Love you DTH♥.

4 votes

#4.2 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:26 PM EST

Thank you Mrs D. I'm glad you added it because somehow I missed it and will read it shortly.

Life is definitely heavy at times and there is no filler for those holes, only memories.

I love you too Mrs D♥

5 votes

#4.3 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:30 PM EST

I have never heard of memory vine until just now but it is attracting the finest people. ((((Dare and Mrs D))):)

2 votes

#4.4 - Wed Feb 29, 2012 10:35 PM EST

mighty, you're welcome to come share your heart with us any time you want.

((((((mighty)))))))

1 vote

#4.5 - Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:19 PM EST

I've requested membership in the group. I think it will help all of us to have a place where we can remember our loved ones and share our losses.

thanks for this group!

7 votes

#5 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:53 PM EST

Thank you Dowser and of course I've accepted. I hope it's helpful to people and can be a source of comfort when needed.

You and Mrs D made beautiful tributes to Sydney, I know she would be honored to know how much she means to her friends. Thank you.

5 votes

#5.1 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 9:04 PM EST

Bluebird Sister

Dowser, My heartfelt condolences for your friend who is gone. I did not know her, but feel

like I do just reading your comments. How wonderful that the two of you found each other.

I love the comments that you have made about her son also. You are such a kind and loving

person. Again. I'm sorry for yur loss.

4 votes

#5.2 - Tue Feb 21, 2012 10:31 PM EST

Dear Bluebird, thank you, so very much, for your love and support. She was a wonderful person, and I miss her so much!

3 votes

#5.3 - Tue Feb 21, 2012 11:14 PM EST

oh Dare, all will come when the time is right. by the way thanks for putting my brothers story here.

6 votes

#6 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 12:21 AM EST

You're most welcome 58!

3 votes

#6.1 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:47 AM EST

Shelby Davenport

I don't think it's inappropriate to send an invitation to this because, like me, I didn't know it existed. I don't know if you would ordinarily go searching for something like it.

If one wants to join or post, they'll know when the time is right. Thanks for clipping my Chance's tribute there.

3 votes

#7 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:00 AM EST

Thanks Shelby, I know it's a group off the beaten path that most people wouldn't look for, it's such a personal thing, that's why the hesitation to send invitations. I'll have to rethink it :)

You're welcome, it was a very touching tribute.

3 votes

#7.1 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:58 AM EST

There They Go Again

Dare,

The memoryvine is a great idea and much needed. The reason that you haven't gotten more response is because people, including myself, simply don't realize that it's there. Since it seems to be a marketing problem, I don't know if sending invites via E-Mail would work out well enough to justify the time and effort. You simply couldn't contact enough people to make that work. An article like this one may prove to be better. I've seen the people posting on this article and I know that their friend lists are extensive. That means that all of the friends of those who have posted comments here will have this article come up on their friend trackers, giving it enormous publicity. Perhaps another article with a headline like "What is the Memoryvine Group and why is it important" would be useful. The right headline can draw people's attention, once they see it. It would be especially helpful if all the good folks who have posted here would consent to place a short comment on it. That would give it tremendous coverage.

I have both sent a request for membership and an FR. You are doing something very good here.

3 votes

#7.2 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:54 PM EST

"What is the Memoryvine Group and why is it important" would be useful.

I agree with TTGA! We all need this at any given point and time in our lives....we just never know when. :( I would certainly be there to promote it also DTH. This is very much needed. We all have lost loved ones and mourn.. we can all support each other dear lady. :)

3 votes

#7.3 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 3:20 PM EST

Thank you both and it is a very good idea!! Thank you also for your support and encouragement.

TTGA, FR and MVine reqest happily accepted.

3 votes

#7.4 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:36 PM EST

It's a beautiful idea for a group. Healthy. Purposeful. Well done, Dare. :P If people don't want to join, they can simply not join. No harm done, but your gesture is nice.

7 votes

#8 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:30 AM EST

Thank you very much lauhal, I'll be a little more forward on the invitations based on the situation. I just don't ever want to intrude on someones most private moments, but, I'll put my big girl panties on and be prepared :)

5 votes

#8.1 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 12:09 PM EST

DTH, that was so well written! No, nobody can imagine what a person that has lost someone dear to them feels. All they can do I think, is be there for that person. I never knew about your daughter and mother. How awful!! I can only give you hugs, and hope you will spira all the wayl back up soon! (((DTH))))

5 votes

#9 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 1:18 PM EST

Thank you ((((tzia)))), that was most kind. Yes, the last 3 years have been hard, and it doesn't get any easier. Thanks for the hug and I'm always spiraling somewhere, maybe someday it will be "up" :)

5 votes

#9.1 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:43 PM EST

I will pray for that! ((((DTH))))

6 votes

#9.2 - Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:10 PM EST

anonymous-1077600

DTH, what a great group, I think it is a fantastic idea, an as some have said I didn't know it was here.

I put in a request.

3 votes

#9.3 - Sat Feb 25, 2012 11:35 PM EST

Thanks anon, I hope it can be helpful for all of us. Happily accepted!

2 votes

#9.4 - Sat Feb 25, 2012 11:58 PM EST

Dare,

I just ran into a clip here. It's a wonderful idea. I know when I lost my Dad, who I had cared for years I didn't really have anyplace to sort of pour my heart out, as my brother didn't want to hear it. Of course we all grieve in different ways., but as I read this I have tears running down my face.

4 votes

#10 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 7:40 PM EST

((((((((((((rescue dogs))))))))))))))

2 votes

#10.1 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 7:52 PM EST

((((rescue)))) You're welcome to pay tribute to your dad here anytime you feel like it. It's never too late to "say what you need to say".

I'm sorry about your dad, loss is hard to bear, especially when you feel like you're going thru it by yourself. You're not alone here.

((((Dowser))))

3 votes

#10.2 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 8:19 PM EST

Thanks, Dare,

I might just do that.

3 votes

#10.3 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 8:27 PM EST

Thanks, Dowser...you are such a kind person with such a caring heart. I love you.

3 votes

#11 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 7:58 PM EST

I love you, too-- very much! :-)

2 votes

#11.1 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 8:37 PM EST

I want to mark this so I can come back to it. I'd like to join, I lost my 21 year old daughter 5 years ago and know the pain well. I actually have a Compassionate Friends meeting in just over an hour.

4 votes

#12 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 8:44 PM EST

Bless your heart lib, I'm so sorry to hear that. You are most welcome to join and as a 5 year survivor you probably have wisdom to share in the healing process that will help many of us.

Invitation sent.

1 vote

#12.1 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 8:51 PM EST

Dare,

I can't find the group to request to join....please help.

2 votes

#13 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 9:07 PM EST

There They Go Again

http://healyourheart.newsvine.com/

Here you go RD.

2 votes

#13.1 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 9:24 PM EST

rescue, I tried to send you an invitation but it would not go thru. I'll check to see if your request has been received.

Thanks TTGA!

Nope, not received yet.

2 votes

#13.2 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 9:44 PM EST

Hi Dare. Remember, some of the most relevant and important groups seem to have smaller memberships. I'm not sure why that is. Any way, I told you it would catch on.

2 votes

#13.3 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 9:57 PM EST

You were right bobby, I'm happy people are finding it to be a good thing. I didn't really think it would have a large membership, when I started it I was so gone mentally that membership was not even a thought, Jennifer was my only thought and I so needed something to just hold on to.

I appreciate you so much my friend, thanks for the note ♥

1 vote

#13.4 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 10:35 PM EST

Just came back on the page, thanks Dare "applied for admittance" ;)

1 vote

#14 - Thu Mar 1, 2012 10:45 PM EST

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